Nanny vs daycare vs au pairs in Seattle

So you are expecting to become a new parent in Seattle – congratulations! In the midst of all the doctor’s appointments, thinking of baby names, getting stuff ready, you may also be thinking of childcare options if you are planning on returning to work after your baby is born. Every city looks a little different in terms of the childcare options available, depending on the local labor market, norms, and public policy. As a mother of two children here in Seattle, I’ll offer my thoughts on the options that I’ve encountered, along with approximate costs and some considerations of each option. I’m only covering non-family childcare in this article – of course grandparents and other extended family members are options for many families but they have their own special set of considerations.

Starting with the big picture, a common path for working parents in Seattle (especially dual-income professional parents) seems to be to get care through a nanny or grandparent from the end of parental leave until 12-18 months of age and then start at a daycare until starting kindergarten. In elementary school, typically families get after-school care if there is an after-school program at the school or certain extracurricular activities not at the school may offer busing (for example, music lessons, martial arts, dance, etc.). Au pairs are also an option used by families from birth up to late elementary school/ middle school. All of these forms of care require tuition apart from the regular school hours of public elementary school.

How do you find a nanny in Seattle and what are the costs and considerations?

If you are planning on relying on a nanny after you return to work, you may want to start the process at least 4-6 months prior to when you want the nanny to start. Many experienced nannies will start interviewing for new positions as soon as they know that their current charge will be transitioning to a new situation so there aren’t always good candidates who are available to start on short notice. In addition, many families opt for a nanny share arrangement which could provide several benefits in terms of lower costs and more companionship for the baby. Nanny shares can also take more time to set up as you have to find another family who can participate as well as the nanny.

In terms of finding a nanny in Seattle, there are a spectrum of options from getting a lot of help to do-it-yourself. There are dozens of agencies who have a list of pre-vetted candidates and can set up interviews for you. A little more work are Facebook groups like Seattle Parents and Nannies that are gathering spots for families looking for nannies and nannies looking for jobs but there is no vetting and families will have to do their own background and reference checks. Care.com and Sittercity.com are also in this category but you will have to pay for access to their listing of caregiver candidates. Another resource is to ask other parents for referrals to nannies that they have worked with before – this can come through your own personal network or through local neighborhood parent lists.

Whatever avenue you choose, here are some helpful things to know:

Vetting considerations for a nanny

Most parents that I know who have hired nannies run a background check and talk to several references who have employed this person as a nanny in the past. You can find vendors who will run background checks for you using the candidate’s name and an identifier such as a driver’s license or social security number. You may also want to run a search on the person on Google to see if there are any concerning signs online of the person’s past behavior. When you talk to references, here are some topics you may want to cover:

Cost for a Nanny in Seattle

What I have seen is that experienced nannies charge between $20-$30 per hour in Seattle. This can go up by a few dollars if the nanny is watching more than one child (such as in a nanny share).

Things to consider including in a nanny contract

You will need to write up your own contract with the nanny and if in a nanny share, with the other family. There are many sample contracts online but here are some things to consider covering:

• Pay, including overtime pay – Will there be guaranteed number of hours? What will be the hourly pay? What if extra hours are needed?
• Sick exclusion policy – If the child is sick, will the nanny still provide care? What is the definition of being sick (e.g., certain temperature of fever, coughing, runny nose, rash, etc)? How will this work if it’s a nanny share situation?
• Vacation and sick days – Does the nanny get vacation days and sick days?
• Expectations for childcare standards– Can the nanny use her phone while with the children? Can the kids watch the screen while they are with her? Can the nanny take them to museums, etc? Can she take the bus with them or drive the family car or does she need to stay in the neighborhood? Can she invite friends while she’s on care duty?
• Social media policy – Can the nanny take pictures of the children? Can she post them to social media? Share them with her friends and family?

Running payroll for a nanny

In many cases, families will also need to run their own payroll for the nanny. This can be a significant pain as it involves creating accounts with Washington State and likely using a payroll service such as SurePayroll.com which costs additional money and also can be a pain to deal with.

Pros and cons of having a nanny in Seattle

• Pros:
  • Compared to au pairs, nannies tend to be easier to work with and more experienced. They are more likely to be fluent in English, have more familiarity with kids activities in Seattle and be able to navigate caregiving more independently.
  • Compared to daycares, nannies tend to be more flexible in caring for children who are sick or who otherwise might not be able to go to daycare on a given day. They often also provide care in the child’s home so there is time saved in having to drive the child to and from the daycare center.
  • Compared to daycares, nannies may provide more focused attention as typically the adult-to-children ratio is lower than in a daycare center.
• Cons:
  • Compared to daycares, there is more management that is needed with nannies. From writing the contract to managing payroll to providing feedback that a daycare director might otherwise give, there could be more of an administrative burden of having a nanny.
  • Compared to daycares, there is a potential risk associated with lower supervision/ accountability. Whereas in a daycare center there are typically multiple adults at the center who help keep each other accountable, a nanny typically spends long stretches of time alone with the children.
  • Compared to daycares, there is potentially less professional development ongoing for nannies. Many daycares have some type of professional development program where they are taking courses, reading books or getting instruction on various topics related to childhood development.
  • Compared to daycares, nannies can be more expensive. At $25 per hour, a full time nanny in Seattle could cost around $4000 per month whereas daycares for babies charge around $2000-$3000 in Seattle. A nanny share, however could bring costs more in line with a daycare.

How do you find an au pair in Seattle and what are the costs and considerations?

Every year, approximately 18,000 au pairs work and live in the United States. The program is kind of a combination of childcare work, cultural exchange and academic program for young adults from other countries seeking an opportunity to experience living in the United States. I have worked with two au pairs and also know several other families with young children who have worked with au pairs. Here’s my perspective from my own experience and those of others.

Getting an Au Pair – the basics

The Au Pair program is a federal program run by the US State Department. The State Department sets out a set of rules for the program but relies on au pair agencies such as Cultural Care, Au Pair in America and a host of others to actually go recruit candidates in other countries, find potential host families in the United States, manage the match process between au pair candidates and potential host families, and oversee the program after the au pair starts working with the host family.

Helpful things to know about the program include:

• Host families provide food and lodging for the au pair in their home. This means you need to have an extra room in your home where your au pair can stay.
• Host families need to pay a weekly stipend of at least approx. $200. Host families can offer to pay more but this is the minimum.
• Host families are also expected to cover some other reasonable expenses of being part of the family, including cell phone bills and transportation (including possibly some access to the family car which very likely will bump up your car insurance costs)
• Other costs to the host family include an agency match fee (to be paid after a match is made) which can be around $9500-$11,000 and $500 of educational fee for the au pair’s classes while in the US
• Some host families choose to bring au pairs on family vacations while others opt not to
• Au pairs can work up to 45 hours per week on children-related tasks including childcare, laundry, snacks for the kids, cleaning up after the kids, etc.
• Au pairs get one full weekend off per month, at least 1.5 days off per week and two paid weeks off per year

Cost of an Au Pair

Between the program fees, stipend and various lesser but required fees, the program comes to a minimum of about $22,000 per year. However, keep in mind that this doesn’t include mobile phone payments, any additional costs for bringing the au pair on family trips or indirect costs such as room and board. In my personal experience, the incremental costs of an additional cell phone line, adding a young driver to our insurance, reimbursing for some of her local transportation expenses and bringing her on some of our family vacations cost about an additional $5000 per year.

What are the pros and cons of an Au Pair versus a nanny or daycare?

Here are some of the benefits of an au pair over a traditional nanny or daycare:

• It’s cheaper, especially if you have many kids and have extra living space. Even with the additional costs, having an au pair is less expensive than a traditional nanny, nanny share or daycare in many areas of the US. The program costs also don’t change with the number of kids so it may be particularly cost-advantageous for families with multiple children (though the au pair may ask for higher stipend).
• More flexible schedule. You can have the au pair in a schedule that would be hard for most nannies and daycares to accommodate – for example, split over two shifts (one in the morning and another in the afternoon). This could be helpful if you or your partner work nontraditional hours or you need additional help before and after school.
• There’s potential for cultural enrichment. Many au pairs are happy to share elements of their home culture with their host family, including teaching kids words from their native language and occasionally cooking a dish from their home country.

Sounds great, right? So what are some of the potential drawbacks of having an au pair?

• Higher level of commitment – Since these au pairs are moving countries to come join your family for a year, it can feel like a bigger deal to end the relationship. Au pairs can opt for rematching in such a scenario but matching again isn’t guaranteed and it often involves moving to another part of the US.
• Harder to vet – The interviewing process for au pair candidates mostly involves a couple of video chats and reading the results of their interview with the local agency representative. The local agency representative also provides notes from reference checks they conducted. However, this can feel more limited than speaking with other families coming from a more similar context in the United States. Au pairs also tend to have less experience in childcare so they may have less data points on what they are like in a caregiving situation.
• Less experienced – Speaking of less experience, au pairs tend to be well… less experienced. Some au pair candidates may have worked at a day care or as a nanny in their home country but many have not worked in any formal caregiving capacity. This doesn’t necessarily mean they will be less good at caregiving but it does mean you have less information about what they will be like as a caregiver and also you will have to support them more as they learn how to care for your child.
• Less independent – Between being less experienced in caregiving and likely lower fluency in the English language, your au pair will probably require more support from you than the average nanny or daycare. This could include things for your child (like how to prepare a bottle, following a recipe for a child’s meal) to things related to their own daily living (setting up a bank account, navigating the US health care system).
• Harder to communicate – Au pairs can vary quite widely in their level of English fluency in my experience of interviewing probably a dozen or more au pair candidates. Some have trouble following the thread of a normal conversation while others speak with near fluency. This can have a major impact on how easy it will be to work with the au pair when they join your family.
• Expectations and primary motivations of some au pairs might not be a good fit for some families – Anecdotally, I get the sense from other families that for many au pairs, the primary motivation for participating in the program is the opportunity to travel and live in the US for some period of time. While this may make perfect sense when you consider things from the au pair’s perspective, it may not be the best alignment to what you want in a caregiver. Again, this can vary widely between au pair candidates and it may not be an important consideration depending on your family’s situation.
• The au pair lives in your home and is more integrated in your family life. This could be a pro or a con! But for many families, the friction of someone sharing your living spaces, kitchen, car etc can feel like an additional stressor.

Of course, all these pros and cons vary highly by the specific person, family and situation! I know of several families (including myself) who have had successful matches with au pairs but it involves finding the right fit and I think it’s always helpful to know what to consider!

How do you find a Daycare in Seattle and what are the costs and considerations?

Compared to nannies, daycares typically care for multiple children in one location – anywhere from a handful to up to dozens. They have to be licensed and they have regulations they have to follow, such as required teacher-to-child ratios. They come in a lot of different shapes and sizes such as full-time/part-time, co-ops, home day care, with not necessarily strict definitions for each category. In Seattle generally, there seems to be more families seeking care than there are spots available. When my children were little, I once baked banana bread for the staff of the two daycares I was trying to get my kids into, I was so desperate! Luckily, my kids eventually got spots at a great daycare/preschool.

Tips for finding a spot at a daycare in Seattle

• Start early and get organized – Anecdotally, many daycare centers still have long waitlists of families. So it doesn’t hurt to start researching daycares early, even potentially while you’re still pregnant! Make a list of the daycares that could work for your commute, write down their hours, the ages they serve, their prices and any reviews or regulatory actions they have experienced. Then contact the ones that look the most promising for a tour and get on their waitlist.
• Have a backup plan – It’s entirely possible that you may not get a spot at a daycare center that you would prefer, so have a backup plan such as a nanny or grandparent. Indeed, one common tactic that I have seen is to employ a nanny for about a year while the child is moving up the waitlist at daycare centers.
• Check in regularly – The way daycare centers go through their waitlist might be less predictable than you would think. A lot of the families that are on their waitlist may have found other options, moved away or even aged out so the daycare might just reach for whoever they think is the most promising next family to take the spot. Dropping a quick email every few weeks could be a friendly reminder to them that you are still interested and ready to take a spot at their center.
• Sometimes, an intro helps – If you know someone who sends their kid to the daycare center you’re interested in, ask them for an introduction! Daycare centers want a community of families around them that will work well together, so if you get a warm introduction through a family they know and like, it could help keep you top of mind.
• If you have multiple children, it will get easier – Once you get one child into a daycare center, often their siblings will get priority in the waitlist. So if you end up having multiple children, then know that even though getting one child into a daycare can be difficult, the next one will likely be easier.
• Keep in mind there is also a public option in Seattle – Thanks to the voter-approved Families, Education, Preschool and Promise (FEPP) Levy, there is a public pre-school program in Seattle for 3- and 4- year olds. It’s not universal, so slots are not always available but tuition is on a sliding scale. It seems like there has been a fair amount of thought into making this a high-quality program – you can check it out here.

Pros and cons of daycares in Seattle

Here are some of the potential advantages of daycares over other options:

• Less administrative work compared to a nanny – you don’t need to worry about payroll taxes and getting the right contract in place. You just pay the monthly invoice and that’s it.
• More oversight – Daycares are licensed and have to follow certain rules laid out by government agencies such as teacher-child ratio and certain teacher actions that are prohibited (such as in Washington state, there are relatively detailed laws on constrain what kind of restraints can be used with children in a daycare setting). Moreover, daycares typically have multiple teachers and often a manager/ executive director who can provide additional oversight and accountability.
• Professional development– Many (though not all) daycares have some sort of professional development program that give caregivers opportunities to learn about improving their caregiving for children.
• More peers and range of caregivers – Children can develop relationships with more peers and adults in a group care setting. This can give them more exposure to different skills, interests and personalities. I personally found this to be more important as the kids transitioned into toddlerhood.
• Less expensive than nannies – Daycares can be 30-50% cheaper than nannies.

But like everything in life, daycares also have some drawbacks relative to other care options:

• Transport – Compared to a nanny who provides care in your home, you have to drive back and forth to the day care each day, which can add a significant demand on your time.
• Getting sick and dealing with sick days – More kids in one place means your kid is exposed to more germs. Anecdotally, many parents have told me they experienced a significant increase of colds, flus, GI issues, etc in their first year in daycare. To make things worse, daycares usually have a more strict sick exclusion policy which means in addition to your kid getting sick more often, when they get sick your regular caregiver is not an option.
• Less flexible – Daycares work on strict opening and closing hours, and they tend to adhere to holidays, professional development days, winter/summer breaks, sick exclusion days, etc more tightly. So if you have something unusual come up (which let’s be honest, as a working parent occurs every other week), you might not be able to turn to your daycare for extra support whereas a nanny might be more flexible.
• Less individualized attention – Daycares operate at a larger student to teacher ratio than nannies, so your child will be probably getting less individualized attention.